..layers upon layers upon layers..
To be quite frank, I didn’t expect that anyone would read that post, much less relate to it. For one thing it’s kinda long, which I know for me would be an immediate deterrent. So I’m glad that you took the time to read it and am flattered that you find it inspiring!
As far as your desire to climb harder, I think taking that step back is definitely good for you, mentally and physically. I stepped back a while ago which alleviated frustration whenever I felt I hit a plateau. I then filled that space with supplementary activities like yoga and slacklining to aid my climbing. It helped me chill out, and contrary to all the grunts that climbers let out in the gym, climbing is a still a chill sport to me.
I do enjoy the climbs regardless of grade, but I think the ideology behind gym climbing for me was to get strong so I could feel confident outdoors. I then realized that being out in nature for the simple sake of being out there was the part that mattered, and the climbing itself sort of became irrelevant. I’m really a nature boy at heart, and not being able to get outdoors on the weekly basis that I had grown so accustomed to sent me into a state of withdrawal and perhaps has me doubting my purpose in the gym. I hope as well that I can get outdoors soon, because it’s such a precarious state of mind that I’m in right now.
In any case, thank you for taking the time to read my essay and responding to it so graciously. I wish you all the best in your climbing endeavors and great success at that. Cheers!